Oh hell Horsa, thats tough. My mum has passed now but she got dementia and got awfully forgetful too.
She would make me a cup of Milo and put salt in it instead of sugar, make a pot of tea, but forget to put in the tea, she nearly set the kitchen on fire several times with forgotten things cooking. Tell the same story over and over many times minutes apart, it was an endless fight for her to take her heart medicine etc, it was not nice.
I also had a lot of trouble for a period in my family after dad passed away and mum was going downhill. Siblings did not agree and so on. It was awful. Until I found the rock to aid my decision making about things.
In the end it was a simple solution for me.
In every difficult situation I encountered, I asked myself. What would a healthy happy Mum and Dad of 10 years ago, want me to do in this situation. It was that I based my decisions on. That way, i was comfortable in my mind that I was honoring Mum and Dad with decisions I knew they would support had they been here and well as they were 10 years ago.
Made the tough ones (a bit) easier to make.
I guess what I am saying without knowing much about your situation is be strong in yourself that you are doing your best.
Don't be frightened to sometimes step away and escape a bit. You have to stay healthy, if you go downhill that's bad for your mum and worse for you.
One way that we found helped with mum was to just agree, at first we mistakenly tried to correct her repeats and mistakes.
But this only frustrated her. so in the end, we acted surprised hearing the same story for the 5th time, just swapped the sugar for the salt and said nothing, Agreed with her when she was angry. Just played along I guess. In her case it was an illness and well she could not help it.
The best we could offer was to keep her safe and calm.
Also don't feel guilty when you have times of happiness. I for the longest time after dad passed away felt like I was being horrible by letting myself be happy. I realized a healthy present dad of old would not want that for me. So I eventually gave myself permission to be happy sometime.
Hope something in here helped a little bit.
Your friends are here if you need to yell at someone.
All the best.
D:
